Why are people more reluctant to commitment nowadays?

Have you been single lately? In the 21st century, since the birth of Tinder or other dating apps, it seems that the lack of commitment or sometimes even fear of commitment is more present.

It is just as if you went into a groceries store where there used to be just a few brands of chocolate or snacks. Now, there are hundreds of them lying right next to one another. How on earth are we going to choose which brand we'd like to go with? or which taste? and what if we are buying the one that no-one likes?

What happens usually in this situation is, there are two types of buyers: the first one will choose a different flavour each time or whenever there is a new launch and the second one will stick to the taste and brand that they've known their entire life, very risk averse. Now there is nothing wrong with that. But I believe what's been difficult for most people nowadays is how society is laying things out showing us the multitude of possibilities in everything, be in people we can meet and fall in love with, or types of jobs we can practice and even create for ourselves, or airline companies that offer cheap flights to our holiday destinations...

This has resulted in a lack of commitment in people, not only in human relationships but also in their relationships to brands, products and most importantly companies. People say, millennials aren't capable of commitment to a company for longer than 2 years. Truth be told, millennials did have a different education, they have been taught to look out for opportunities, to be creative and innovative. So they constantly looking for opportunities to renew the world they live in, because they grew up in a world of constant renewal. Right?

The 21st century has been an avalanche of technological developments and digital revolutions. There has been smartphones, augmented reality, robots, 3D printing, bitcoin.... just to name a few. Given that the largest numbers of "active workers" are still baby boomers, there's been a gap in understanding how to leverage this new labour force. Millennials tend to be more demanding in terms of feedback and recognition for their achievements.

And we heard it yes, millennials are too sensitive, they want rewards for everything, they want feedback but it has to be delivered in a way that they can be receptive, they want to engage ... but did you ask yourself WHY do millennials ask for such attention?

How about it's because of uncertainty?

Millennials live in an uncertain world, and they feel uncertain.

The work environment is highly competitive, a entry job requires 2-3 years of experience and everything is changing fast. And there is this imminent need of changes that is constantly present. I'mma tell you, that ain't easy to cope with.

Back in the days, let's say 60s to 80s, if you are starting a company be it in food industry or anything else, it is more likely to stay for at least a decade or two, and a lot of time even more. Nowadays, we see hundreds of startups or new companies that go out of business every year. Sustaining an activity is difficult because of the high demand in innovation and how fast consumers can get bored of a product. That is the reality that we live in.


So rather than labelling millennials as incapable of commitment, what we need to find out is what does make them commit? Simon Sinek said it:

Start with WHY

And this why will help you as a millennial to understand the reasons behind your fear of commitment.

Why aren't you choosing to commit to someone or something? Is it because you don't want to tie yourself down to one thing when the world is offering you fast changing opportunities? Are you still here to discover who else you can meet and how else you can make your life more worth living?

Why does it seem so hard to even commit to yourself?

We haven't had the chance to cover this yet, but this is the root of it all. If you aren't committed to yourself, how can you foster commitment to the outer world? Can you?

Now, what is commitment then? Abraham Lincoln said:

Commitment is what transforms a promise into reality.

And before you wonder if something is right for you or not, look inside of you. What is it that you are fearful of in this situation with someone, or something?

Are you uncertain that it might not work out even if you give 100% of yourself? What is the hurt in giving 100% of yourself?

You always have two choices: your commitment versus your fear” - Sammy Davis Jr

Did you know that by choosing commitment, you can overcome your fear of uncertainty?

We live in a world of opportunities and changes, you can choose to be risk averse or risk taker, whatever you choose, find out your why and measure your level of commitment to it.

Let me know what you think of this.

Lyly Berrut

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